July 13, 2010

You're not a good parent if...

So now that I'm a mother I get a lot of unwanted advice on how to do things. Most people are so dead set in their own ways with their kids that they don't seem to realize that every situation, every mother, and every child is different. So here is the advice I've been given in a complete list. In parenthesis is the reason I was given by each person. They don't actually say I'm not a good parent but secretly if you have a set way of doing things and someone else does it differently you think they're weird or dare I say it bad. So I present to you the list that lets you know if you're a bad parent. If you do or have ever done any of these items you're not a good parent or other caregiver:

1. Formula fed a baby (because breast feeding is the only way you're supposed to feed a baby.)
2. Breast fed a baby but supplemented with formula. (because even the smallest bit of formula is poison when given to a baby)
3. Breast fed a baby (apparently it's just wrong to breast feed a baby because breasts are just for the media to use to sell alcohol and cigarettes. And to quote some famous person they're not called breasts but "fun bags")
4. Used disposable diapers (because it's bad for the environment. Not to mention they attract flies.)
5. Used cloth diapers (because they're hard to clean and it's not worth the time reusing them)
6. Let your baby fuss (because they always need something when they fuss)
7. Took care of your baby every time they fuss (because they'll become spoiled)
8. Used Orajel to help with teething. (because it numbs their gums. I kind of thought that was the point...)
9. Decided not to use orajel. (apparently it's now required for every teething baby but I missed the memo...)
10. Started out solids by feeding your baby fruit first. (They won't like veggies after they've had fruit)
11. Started out solids by feeding your baby veggies first. (You're baby will be more likely to try other solids if you start out with a fruit first.)

I could go on and on with this list but I'll just put one last one:

12. You're not a good parent if you do anything differently from other parents or what popular advice has told you to do.

Apparently everything you do makes you a bad parent! I think in today's society everyone thinks they know what's best for your child or children. But in actuality there are many ways to raise a child and I say just go for what works with you and your child. I'll tell you what type of parent I am:
I'm the type of parent who breast feeds and supplements with formula. The type who uses disposable diapers and started of feeding my sons solids before the suggested age. And guess what I started off with veggies but that's not stopping them from liking fruit more or trying new things. I sometimes let my babies fuss because it's what they need to do sometimes. I'm the type of parent who tried Orajel with my sons but found out they hate it more then they do the pain from teething and cry a lot longer when I put it on their gums then if I just rub only my finger on their gums for a little bit.

My conclusion forget being a bad parent and be a good one by finding out what works for you and your child/children.


  1. I am glad you do what you want for you and the twins! All five of you were different, though your older brothers and sister weren't much different (thank goodness!) Keep up the awesome work and don't be afraid to stand up for what you have done. You can always say, "Well, THIS is what works for me..." and let the other person live with their feelings. The only responsibility you have is to be happy and healthy, and to raise your family in a healthy way.

  2. You forgot my very favorite:
    "Don't let them watch TV! It makes them stupid. Like, REALLY stupid."

    God, I'm soooo tired of hearing that one. Actually, I'm tired of people telling ME how to raise YOUR children. I think you're capable of making educated decisions on behalf of your kids. You don't need me stepping in to tell you what to do!

    Oh, man, and those ladies at the grocery store that one time? Cari, NEVER TAKE YOUR BABIES OUTSIDE. EVER. They worry about babies these days!

  3. I found your blog from BBC (the preemie board). I must say... I have a blog post VERY similar to this one. I thought that the world was judgemental Before I had a child... PSSH! Everyone knows how to write the book BUT ME when it comes to my child I guess.

    Just wanted to say I love love LOVE this post and am glad there are other mothers out there who feel the same way I do :)